by Miki Spiga

Introduction

In January, I received a diagnosis that reshaped my understanding of myself: Combined Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Combined ADHD). I had been struggling with my mental health for a while, so it really was not a lightning bolt moment, but I had attributed those struggles and symptoms to anxiety and depression. That is what my doctors told me I had.

Upon reflection, however, I realised that the signs of ADHD had always been present, but I had been masking them to survive in today’s society.

My Story

My recollection of symptom onset is slightly blurred. I was a diligent student with good grades, seemingly never affected by cognitive issues. I had always been a procrastinator and I often abandoned hobbies and sports once they ceased to bring me joy. I blamed myself, convinced it was due to laziness, and I did not question the contradiction between this perception and my inner drive to prove myself.

Yet, when adolescence hit, life got much more challenging. What was once imaginative daydreaming transformed into anxious thoughts and panic attacks. Suddenly, I had to study for longer periods of time and maintaining focus was impossible.

Years later, I had moved to the UK, and I decided to finally seek help. Unfortunately, therapy from wellbeing services targeted only anxiety and depression, offering little help. I turned then to antidepressants, which calmed the anger towards myself for feeling inadequate, but failed to address the real issue. Adhd2

One day, during COVID, a random mental health seminar got me thinking. However, it was TikTok, of all places, that led me to question if ADHD might be the missing puzzle piece, and that pushed me to research the condition. Online tests confirmed my suspicions, even hinting at the possibility of ASD. However, I desired a proper diagnosis from a doctor, not test results from the internet, so with the support of my family, my partner and the community at 4OC, I braved the journey and various waiting times for an ADHD diagnosis.

Two months ago, a psychiatrist confirmed the diagnosis. Finally receiving such validation felt like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders, but this also came with the realisation that education and awareness is lacking, and people, especially women, should be better supported in such a lonely and frustrating journey.

As a woman, I was dismissed several times and I had to mask my symptoms my whole life to achieve the same results as others.

Women with ADHD

Women may manifest ADHD symptoms differently from men, complicating recognition by traditional diagnostic criteria. Internal symptoms like inattentiveness often overshadow external manifestations of hyperactivity. Also, societal expectations of female compliance may lead to symptom dismissal or misattribution to other causes such as shyness or emotional issues.

Coping mechanisms like excessive planning or overachievement further obscure the underlying ADHD. Moreover, comorbid conditions like anxiety or depression can cloud diagnostic clarity, diverting attention from the root cause. Cultural stereotypes and gender biases may further impede accurate diagnosis, particularly for women from marginalised communities.

Living with ADHD, in my case, encompasses a spectrum of challenges, from mood instability and task-switching difficulties to executive dysfunction and feeling overwhelmed by the environment and people around me.

Yet, amidst the struggles lie a plethora of positive traits. I am passionate, empathetic, and possess a keen emotional intelligence. Hyperfocus enables me to excel in tasks that captivate my interest, fostering resilience and creative thinking. I thrive on problem-solving, viewing obstacles as opportunities for growth.

Embracing ADHD and understanding in the workplace

As I await further treatment and navigate life with ADHD, I aspire to raise awareness about neurodiversity. I envision a world where empathy, respect and understanding replace the stigma surrounding mental health disorders, and where women can receive a diagnosis as easily as men can. I hope this piece will foster a culture of compassion, and encourage others to embrace and share their powerful journeys.

Tips from Miki