The Reality of Home Working (with kids)

by Fran Hoey

Yes, that is my son in the picture. The exercise routines have moved on from PE with Joe and Dancing with Oti Mabuse. Circuits have developed and in this case ended up as a virtual Grand National. Unfortunately, he fell at the final fence… and the inflatable horse had to be let down.

If you’re working from home with kids in tow (in my case they’re 9, 6 and 18 months old), you’ve probably read all the wisdom about how to balance life, work and the universe and not to beat yourself up about being the perfect parent.

You’ll also have been inundated by WhatsApp groups telling you all the things you could (meaning ‘should’) be doing. You’ll have set expectations too high most days, felt like a failure, argued with your partner and the kids and gone to bed exhausted after having to catch-up on work that you got distracted from when somebody started crying in the background. (Editor’s note: Fran has made an art of leaving work to the last minute).

It is hard. Accept that it is hard. Congratulate yourselves for making it through each day. Don’t try and turn your child into a concert pianist or to become fluent in three new languages.

Mozart 1

I’m also very conscious that a lot of people are out of work or are being furloughed and that in many ways, I’m fortunate to be working full-time from home. I’m lucky to be working with a team that really values people’s wellbeing. And that we like to work with clients that have the same ethos. As a result, we all work hard to deliver the highest quality output and to support each other and our wider families across a bundle of organisations.

The Really Real Top Ten Tips

After 3 challenging weeks, here are the top 10 things (cos I know you want another list) I’ve found out about working from home with kids:

  1. A simple structure for you and your family’s week is important. But you’ll never stick to it. Allow extra time, particularly when kids have had a bad night’s sleep!
  2. You’ll soon get fed up with video conferencing. Not so much for work, but as a result of watching young kids spend 30 minutes making faces at each other and seeing who can make the most annoying noise on their ‘keep in touch’ calls.
  3. If you nail your own exercise class with the kids, they’ll never want to go back to PE with Joe. Making the effort to deliver an inspiring sound-tracked Rocky training class will backfire massively. Plan to fail on this front.
  4. You’ll appreciate time with your family more. Then you’ll hate it. Then you’ll appreciate it again. Repeat.
  5. The better the space you work in the more productive you’ll be. For better, read quiet….and as far away from the rest of the family as possible.
  6. It’s easy to become disconnected with work colleagues. Don’t be afraid to chat about nothing – after the first week there is very soon nothing to talk about anyway.
  7. If you have a tree in the garden, you’ll start to believe that you haven’t lost your tree-climbing skills. Don’t put an extra burden on the NHS by trying to reach the top.
  8. Validate that you are delivering in work. It is an uncomfortable feeling for many, no matter what level you work at, to not know if you are meeting your (revised) objectives. So just ask. And bosses, make sure to let your team know.
  9. Tell your partner and your kids that it’s ok. It’s ok to be annoyed, to do something stupid, to need some space. Try and cut each other some slack and remind yourselves that it will be over at some point.
  10. And finally … plan some time off, if you can. Many of us feel we are working even harder each day – and you might think less productively. That’s probably not the case but either way, book some days off. It’s unlikely that you’ll be having a proper holiday this year, so try and come up with something that will feel relaxing at home and don’t log on. And don’t forget to put your ‘out of home office’ on. I recently had a camping night in the garden, and although my back probably won’t let me forget it, it did give my head some space to breathe for a day.

Well, at least until the next Zoom conference!

Fran Hoey